sucking in the keen minty atmosphere.
I was deleting all the junk from my inbox, when I came across a folder.
A folder I had intentionally hidden. In a subfolder of a subfolder of a folder, which was about work.
Question here is.. Who am was I trying to hide it from?
A strong suspicion says its myself.
It was a folder with two emails in them.. And reading them almost brought tears to my eyes. ALMOST. It just reminded me of the hope and dreams we had for each other, with each other.. Even though my relationships were always short, this particular one was really powerful.
And I quote, "You'll always, always be my best. Always, no matter what happens."
Sometimes I wonder if that is still the truth.. I know it doesnt matter anymore, but I still wonder. Yes I do think about him, and I reflect on what we had done, and what we should have done. It's horrible how emotions can make u lose control of yourself.. I am glad that he is happy right now, don't get me wrong.. But for convinience sake, and the possibility of something so much more, I wished we had worked things out the very first time.
Well if I'm getting wishes, I wished things never went wrong.
You were still once the best I ever had. We. We were the best I ever had.
But also the worst.
The most powerful.
The first of many things.
The lightest. The heaviest.
The most carefree. The most burdened.
The happiest. The most tormenting.
The most intense.
The most chaste. The dirtiest.
The best. The best. The best.
So much, squeezed into so little. Perhaps that is why it was the most powerful..
SOmetimes I yearn to look into the future, to see if I could have anything that can match this drama mama relationship. Of course, I ain't psychic, so I imagine.
Maybe I'll have someone who loves me with a bang, then leaves me wanting more.
Maybe.. I'll have a friendly kinda love, where we behave like best friends but are more..
Maybe.. I'll have something that is powerful in a less obvious way.. Something that has deep undercurrents within peace.. Something that would entwind itself into my life, while letting me be myself. Uhmmmmm.. haha. the ignis fatuus of a single girl.
I love to love.
A folder I had intentionally hidden. In a subfolder of a subfolder of a folder, which was about work.
Question here is.. Who am was I trying to hide it from?
A strong suspicion says its myself.
It was a folder with two emails in them.. And reading them almost brought tears to my eyes. ALMOST. It just reminded me of the hope and dreams we had for each other, with each other.. Even though my relationships were always short, this particular one was really powerful.
And I quote, "You'll always, always be my best. Always, no matter what happens."
Sometimes I wonder if that is still the truth.. I know it doesnt matter anymore, but I still wonder. Yes I do think about him, and I reflect on what we had done, and what we should have done. It's horrible how emotions can make u lose control of yourself.. I am glad that he is happy right now, don't get me wrong.. But for convinience sake, and the possibility of something so much more, I wished we had worked things out the very first time.
Well if I'm getting wishes, I wished things never went wrong.
You were still once the best I ever had. We. We were the best I ever had.
But also the worst.
The most powerful.
The first of many things.
The lightest. The heaviest.
The most carefree. The most burdened.
The happiest. The most tormenting.
The most intense.
The most chaste. The dirtiest.
The best. The best. The best.
So much, squeezed into so little. Perhaps that is why it was the most powerful..
SOmetimes I yearn to look into the future, to see if I could have anything that can match this drama mama relationship. Of course, I ain't psychic, so I imagine.
Maybe I'll have someone who loves me with a bang, then leaves me wanting more.
Maybe.. I'll have a friendly kinda love, where we behave like best friends but are more..
Maybe.. I'll have something that is powerful in a less obvious way.. Something that has deep undercurrents within peace.. Something that would entwind itself into my life, while letting me be myself. Uhmmmmm.. haha. the ignis fatuus of a single girl.
I love to love.
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