Sometimes when I feel all battered,
I tend to compare my experiences..
With nothing in particular, but just the thought of
"This can't be worse, you're only 18... What so bad can happen to you?"

This kind of feeling evokes an ecentric mixture of emotions in me..
After a bad fall, being let down by, torn at,
hurt by, and hurting the person you thought loved you the most,
whom u loved the most in the only ways u know..

It makes me feel like I am back to square one.
All the things I believed in,
all the threads of faith I had in life, in love, in the future,
are either all dried and cracked, or six feet from the edge...
I have to build up all the trust in myself and learn to love me again..

But beneath, or rather, alongside all that..
Instead of the caked and gross scabs from the wounds,
I feel like an overscrubbed child,
my skin pink and smarting..

I dont know what will go through whoever's mind when they read it..
But that's the picture...

I will be alone.
It drives me crazy, being thrown around on the mad see saw of being depressed and hopeful..

Egocentric.