A qns often posted to me

"What do you want?"

Why do you ask that question?
What are you trying to portray?
Is that offense?
Or what is the cause of you asking that question?
Exasperation?
Desperation?
Or plain concern?

Recently I got to ask myself that question..
And I still don't know the answer to that.
I am hyper-sensitive when it comes to relationships.
To put it nicely,
I like to be exquisite about the little details in the relationship.
I need constant tiny reassurances that maynot come in words
That is hard to comprehend to many people,
I have come to realize.
To put it less nicely,
I am hard to please.

"What do I want?"

This is one question I think I can never answer straight out.

This is what I want

Him: "I know the slight but real difficulty that you have when trying to figure out the tip on a meal. I know the strange satisfaction that you associate with peeling a thick-skinned naval orange. I know that sometimes, when no one is around, you like to smell things you normally would not think to smell. You think people say "excuse you" instead of "excuse me" when they pass you on the streets.When you look in the mirror you hold your face in a way that is never duplicated in your ordinary life.

Sometimes you are overwhelmingly annoyed by the sound of candy wrappers in theatres. Sometimes, you aren't.

That is why I like you the best. Please don't tell the others."

I loved this man a little more than I did before after I read that.
And it wasn't evem written for me..
It has helped me fathom a lillll bit of what I want.

I want what only I can have.
Exclusivity..
And I need to know it.