I found this page in my old notebook from last semester.. Here are some excerpts, its DAMN long.

"I didn't really have much problems expressing myself before. Now, I do. Even to myself. I dare not come to any conclusions anymore. Let me site an example.. If he does anything, and I start thinkin: how could he? or, Is this unfair or what? I would just be thinking.. maybe I am wrong? I'd tell myself.. Who are you to judge? I say tt to myself so often these days..
Even this sounds so confusing."

"I dare not write this in a diary, for iI know if I came across it one day, I would read it and feel messed up."

"He had set a standard in my heart.. A standard for he himself to live up to. A standard for my need of him. I don't know how he feels tho. Now, I am more or less just part of life. Sure, I mattered. As a piece of his life. Mundane obligation. Like.. Brushing his teeth. Who would brush their teeth passionately? Or think of the first time he'd put toothpaste on his brush affectionately? Something like that...."

[I can't help but laff at the toothbrush analogy I made... Hahaa]

"Every moment with him, I felt so close to him, so heartachingly special.. It was a sad thing to give him one last hug as we left each other every night. After the many hugs we shared throughout the day. Even at the last moment, he hugs and kisses me, conveying the message: He loves me and dun wanna let go."

Haha.. That was about the ex before exbaby.

It was a bitter breakup, dragging for months..
We only lasted about half a year,
but when it was good, it was SO good.
Thing is, now that I think back on it,
I dun have deep impressions of the bad times.
I remember the sweet moments.
After this recent heartbreak involving exbaby,
I now am more appreciative of my memories with dennis.
Tho we can't be friends now,

no one can take the memories away...